February 2015 – cocostudio

February 28, 2015February 7, 2019

Opening

We just concluded the opening session of the seminar. We’ll be here another six days so there’s a lot in store. There are many brilliant thinkers here, and it’s going to be a challenge for me to step out of my listening stance to speak more. A lot of good insights arose in a very short time, and I can see how these readings and discussions will build on each other throughout the week.

We have two capable moderators in Jerald and David. Jerald led the opening reception and introductions while David facilitated the opening discussion. Although I’m not at liberty to report on who said what, I do want to share the question which framed our talk this evening: Why do people disagree? It’s a great question, and one which can frame many conversations across a range of topics.

True dialogue, which is not about debate or persuasion, but about understanding, gets at the heart of this. When you endeavor to dialogue with another, you work to peel away layers. To reveal values. To listen. To learn.

Sometimes you find that disagreements are based on different life experiences or values, language barriers or misunderstandings. In some cases, the disagreements might be quite minor and consensus close at hand. In the others, especially in the case of values, disagreement might be profound, with seemingly no resolution forthcoming.

As the eternal optimist, I believe that even in the case of divergent values, there is room for empathy and compassion. Across large institutions, governments, societies, groups can still find some common ground.

Our discussion was on An Agreement of the People. We spoke specifically about politics and civil law, power and property, but my mind was most interested in the idea of insider/outsider status.

How do we identify other insiders?
How do we treat outsiders and (how) can they come to be invited in?
What is the role of trust in the insider/outsider relationship?
If you extend trust to those on the outside, do you, in that very act, bring them inside?

Tomorrow is Session I: Human Nature. I had trouble with some of the readings because I disagreed with some of the fundamental arguments the authors presented. We don’t have to agree to contribute to the Great Conversation. And really, disagreement is what makes the Conversation worthy of having.

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Read the next post in the Aspen Seminar series.

February 28, 2015February 7, 2019

The Aspen Seminar

I’ve had two firsts today.

I. I just arrived in Colorado for my first visit to the state. I’m here for The Aspen Seminar on Leadership, Values and the Good Society. Things get underway this evening and I plan to document my experiences while I’m here.

II. I ate something called elk chili. I’d probably have called it stew rather than chili, but the important part here is the elk. I wanted something warm and filling, and while I don’t eat very much red meat, I felt adventurous. I give it a thumbs up. I enjoyed my small bowl and I think I’ll be satisfied for the next couple of hours.

The view from my window. Initial descent into Aspen, Colorado.

I’m looking forward the experience. There are 14 participants including me, and we have two facilitators.

We were assigned several readings, and we’re meeting together in Socratic seminar-styled discussions to reflect and make meaning from the texts.

We read everything from Aristotle’s Politics to the Declaration of Independence to King’s Letter from Birmingham City Jail.

Some of the readings stretched me a bit, and I had some fun talks with Blue about a few of them. I’m open to what is sure to be an interesting, enriching experience.

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Read the next post in the Aspen Seminar series.

February 26, 2015February 27, 2015

Goodbye 40. Hello 41.

On Mother’s Day I cried.

I felt anxious most of the day. Irritable. Off-kilter. But I wasn’t sure why. Late afternoon I sat with Blue and he held my hands until I could say. I truly didn’t know until the words flew out: “I’m not a mother.” I buried my face, hiding tears.

It felt strange to say. And really it was more that I felt in between. Displaced? Out of place? I dunno. I was coming to love his children, but who was I, really? Despite the growing relationship we all shared, there was no neat space for me. Not stepmom. Not stepmom-to-be. But there they were. And here I was. A lovely conundrum in the grand scheme of things, but one that confused my heart. Normally, I don’t look to commercial calendars for commentary on my life circumstances, but for once that Hallmark holiday hurt. The silence stung.

Blue reassured me with his warm brown eyes and a tight squeeze, but there wasn’t much he could say then. We were little more than two weeks away from his proposal and he didn’t give away his secret.

I learned a lot in that moment, and in many moments of my 40^th year. The lessons I signed up to master this lifetime have seemed to spiral each decade, although teachers and learning environments change as I do. One of the ways I move forward is by looking back and noting the wisdom I’ve gathered thus far. What follows is an admittedly incomplete accounting of my most recent trip around the sun.

Life’s victories and joys ebb and flow, not unlike the ocean.
You can be happy and content without being giddy.
You never step in the same river twice. You may get another chance at {insert thing here} but everything about it is different the next time. Including you.
Sometimes you expect what never comes, and get what you weren’t expecting.
Titles really do mean something. Act accordingly.
Watching and listening are active tasks and are best done with your whole heart.
Those who truly know you, understand.
Praise and encouragement are loving and effective motivators.
You can’t force change, although with clarity and warm persistence, you can influence your environment.
Human relationships are complicated. The best ones teach you something about yourself.

Here’s to another trip around the sun…

February 10, 2015February 7, 2019

Can putting down your smartphone make you smarter?

I often advocate for reflection. Turn off the 24-hour news cycle, read a book, journal, pray. Eliminate incessant noise so you can hear your own thoughts.

Reflection helps you make sense of that which has already transpired, and imagine and prepare for what is yet to come. It’s not time consuming to reflect, but it does require deliberate acts.

Research suggests that our brains need downtime and that people have some of their most creative ideas when they’re bored. ~Sherri Graslie for All Things Considered.

I’m not sure it’s always boredom, as many creatives report having great ideas when they are engaged in rote activities. The key, ultimately, is having the mental space available for something else.

iphone-37856_640 Sherri Graslie reports one way to clear the mental clutter is by putting down your smartphone. But what happens when the smartphone is out of your hands? That’s when the deliberateness I mentioned above comes into play. Will you spend the time on another device, or will you engage with the world differently?

Read or listen to Graslie’s piece here.

February 9, 2015February 7, 2019

Clement wins

I fancy myself a runner. Or a jogger, as the case may be. As a general rule, I save my miles for clement weather. Put simply, I do not run in the cold. Pish posh on the mildness of Georgia winters; you can let your chest wheeze for an after inhaling frigid air. There are exceptions to my no winter running rule, but more often than not, I hang up my running shoes in November, and pull them out again around March.

I spend the intervening months exercising with a DVD program. When I travel, I take it along. Unless I forget, which is the case at present. En route to the airport yesterday, I realized I packed everything I needed to do PiYo except the PiYo DVDs. Massive side eye to me.

There was no turning back at that point in the journey, and with my destination’s forecast promising sunshine and nice temps, I wondered if I might not run after all.

I’ll skip the part about why I didn’t run this morning, and jump right to the good news: I ran today! And it was challenging, and I had to stop often because of runner’s itch, which sucks. A lot. And blah blah blah, eventually, I hit my 2-mile goal! On a treadmill, no less.

Screen Shot 2015-02-09 at 9.27.47 PM

I’m already sore, which is not happy-making. But I am very pleased, which is! The first of spring remains my official target to resume a running regimen, but it’s nice to have unexpected wins.

[View the story “I Ran Today!” on Storify]