Month: January 2011

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Adding to the Toolkit

I just completed Seidman’s Interviewing as Qualitative Research. It was everything I didn’t know I needed. I’m grateful.

I am teaching Qualitative Research Design this semester and as a first time prep, I’ve had to review/reread materials I read as a student of the course and investigate new resources. Seidman is someone I’d seen cited often by fellow doctoral students who were conducting in-depth interviews for their research. As I wasn’t, I never thought much about him or his work.

My advisor, Janette, has taught the course previously and she graciously offered to help me with the course design. She shared her readings, and his text was on the list. I’d read Patton’s work as a student, but found it wanting. I went with Seidman and was instantly glad. His words resonated with me again and again. As Louise Hay would say, I felt and heard my “inner ding.”

For the unfamiliar, Seidman discusses in-depth interviewing; specifically phenomenological interviewing. He interviews to understand people’s stories. To get their subjective experience through their own words. It hit home for me as I am seeking to develop a new conceptual framework and clarify my niche. Narrative has been a stable interest of mine, but up until this point, my focus has been on participants (physically) writing their own.

This will be a nice addition to my toolkit. Although not everyone is suited to interviewing, I have a hunch it may be a good methodology for me.  When I get the chance to try out my first series of phenomenological interviews, I’ll let you know if this is indeed a good fit. Fingers crossed.

xoxo

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Steamed Fish & Veggies

Fresh ginger. Who knew?

I decided to do more cooking this year – especially trying out new recipes, new spices, and new methods. I’ve tried a few things thus far, but just haven’t taken the time to share them with you.

I’m working from two cookbooks right now – The Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook, and the Grit Vegetarian Cookbook. There are limitations to both of these, but they are good places to start I think. Sojo recommended I purchase the All Vegetarian Cookbook, so I’ll be getting that one soon.

Summary/Highlights/Lowlights

This dish comes from BH&G. It’s a recipe for steamed fish and veggies. It called for ginger (of which I’m not a huge fan) and basil as its signature items. I was to find and purchase fresh ginger (which I’d never seen), peel it, and then grate it. I had to make do with a parer. I’m still low on serious cooking utensils until I A) get a bigger kitchen and B) show myself I’m serious about cooking things that need more than the basics I do own.

Salmon with fresh basil.

Anyway, ginger scraped, or whatever, I made bias slices across my filets (I chose salmon, my favorite!), and stuffed each slit with fresh basil.

The next step was to rub the ginger atop the fish. So far so good, but that’s all there was to it! As in, there was nothing else to add. No salt, no pepper, no garlic, no butter. Nothing. Basil and ginger. The end.

Having never cooked with ginger or basil I didn’t know what to expect from them. BH&G seemed pretty sure they were enough to carry this whole meal. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to not add anything, so I did sprinkle a bit of sea salt atop (thank goodness). Basil and ginger are known to be dominant tastes. But ginger and basil aside, barely seasoned fish and veggies are still barely seasoned; and they taste that way.

Thank goodness for post-cooking flavoring!

In addition to the fish, this recipe also called for asparagus and sweet pepers. The veggies on the bottom, the fish on the top, everything went into a steamer basket. I haven’t steamed much – usually preferring to bake or sauté. I have to admit I was shocked it only took 8 minutes (and that was about a minute too long for my tastes).

Asparagus and sweet peppers on the bottom.
Preparing to steam everything.

Will I make it again?

Now that I’ve made a few things from this cookbook, I know they rely on supposedly strong flavorings to carry through. I have learned (finally) to be very heavy handed with my spices. Will I make this recipe again? Not as is, no. I will definitely mix and match parts of this recipe (minus the ginger, plus MORE seasoning for instance). But it was quick and healthful, and with the right flavoring, it’ll be delicious too.

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A New Conceptual Framework

SGI young women’s study group bon voyage gathering.

It’s time for me to go back to the literature again. It’s not for a class paper (yay) or my dissertation (done); rather, it’s for me.

I have many ideas swirling around for research and teaching, and (no surprise) most of them are not directly connected to what I’ve spent the past three years reading/writing/thinking about.

I’ve never taken a women’s studies class, but I’m feeling as though it may be time to audit one. I’d like to read, write and teach at the intersection of women (18-35), literacy, narrative/story, and human revolution.

I wonder how good UGA’s digital library collection is…

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Waiting In Between

It’s often hard for those of us who are “doers” to be in a holding pattern. But the Universe is getting ready for you.

So said @ChrisMacDen in consolation to me and another tweep, @MeaggiePie. We were discussing our lack of serious contribution to the global discussion board known as Twitter. I lamented feeling “in between” and having nothing much of value to say as of late.

I’m in between because I lack clarity on next steps about my career. At best, I have a vague and fuzzy sense about the work I should take up. I have one part-time job and two verbal offers for others. But I’m waiting on them to begin. In the interim, I know neither of the three jobs are long term strategies. They are ways to earn money and valuable experience while I wait design and develop my ideal career path.

I don’t like this feeling of stagnation, but on reflection, I don’t think the universe is really getting ready for me. I think it’s waiting on me to get ready. Rightly or wrongly, I believe that the universe conspires for my success. But at the very least, I must present it with a plan or a vision of what that might mean. You can always be redirected if you find yourself going down the wrong path, but I’m not sure how much meaningful progress you make doing nothing.

Sure, standing still, listening, regrouping, they are all valuable things to do, but at some point you have to start moving if you ever plan to arrive at your destination. I guess I need to figure out what that is…

I have a few ideas. I’m giving myself until my birthday to flesh them out.

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Waiting. Changing? Not so much…

Waiting for Superman is all the rave. It’s a documentary (now fact-checked as problematic). It’s also a book. And now it’s a call for action. Folks affiliated with Rethinking Schools, for instance, are pretty sure they are not waiting for Superman and urge us to do the same. Other education activists, social justice researchers and policymakers agree.

If you’ve missed out on all the hoopla, this is all about the dismal state of schools – what is being done about it, and the hope of a magic cure all. Superman.

The hero in all of this seems to be school choice, or more specifically, charter schools. Problematically, the news on charter schools isn’t much better than other public schools (unsurprisingly). The overarching narrative in education today advances the success stories of charters while secreting away the fact they aren’t faring all that well. Turns out that treating students like commodities and running schools like businesses is no way to successfully educate a diverse citizenry.

What’s the key? That’s just it. Snapping our fingers and wiggling our noses aren’t the answer. Nor is further dehumanizing people and treating them like widgets on an assembly line. I believe the answer lies, in part, on embracing a dialogic education. One that affirms the life of each individual, helping her to become a contributive member of society on multiple levels.

But I digress. I really just wanted to share this offering from NPR and the Root. More food for thought about treating our children like french fries.

Something wasn’t right at the high school that Darwin Bridgers’ son attends, so he sat in on the class to see for himself. All morning long, the instructor at the Washington, D.C. charter school pointed to a list of ground rules, a detailed list of rewards and punishments posted on a wall near the front of the class filled with black and Latino students.

Read more.

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Day 2 – Love/Hate

I can honestly say I’m not moved by today’s task. We’re supposed to conduct a life assessment of 7 specific areas of our life. We’re to list what we love and hate about each area. Hate being strong, we’re encouraged to consider “strongly dislike.”

Welp, the good news for me is I don’t strongly dislike any aspect of my life. I live a happy, well-rounded, successful life. Things aren’t perfect, but even trying to frame things in terms of strong dislike simply didn’t ring true for me. This means my Buddhist practice is working, as the main goal is to build absolute (internal) happiness, not based on externals. Simultaneously, when things aren’t going quite right on the outside, we identify them right away and work to change them (again working from the inside out).

The 7 areas are: lifestyle, work, education, finances, health, family, and relationships. I jotted statements about how things are going, including what I like and what improvement I’d like to see. I’ll share the highlights:

My aunt and uncle at my graduation, December 2010.

Lifestyle: I love the freedom to make my own schedule. I would like to spend more time dancing and communing with nature. And dating.

Work: I’m in between jobs since I graduated two weeks ago and my jobs don’t start for another week. I’ll let you know how things are going once they’re underway.

Education: I just finished the highest degree offered in the U.S. I have things I’d like to learn/master including sewing, cooking, and specific genres of writing.

Finances: I have money saved. This is a great feat considering I’ve not had a full time job in 3 1/2 years. No complaints there. I have goals for this year including earnings, savings, and giving.

Health: I’m in good overall health, although I could use a check up. I’d like to lose 5 pounds and get to around 20% body fat (I mean what’s to hate if you only have 5 pounds to lose!). Spiritually I could be more focused in my chanting and study. I’ve already started working on both.

Family: I’m an only child of two deceased parents. My relationships were great by the time my parents passed. I also have a  half brother with whom I did not grow up, who is building a relationship with me now.

Relationships: This is the only area I feel is “lacking” but I have no “strong dislike.” I’ve definitely enjoyed being single and would like to enter a serious romantic relationship this year. I’ve done internal work, especially around forgiveness and welcoming. I continue to work on all aspects of my life in the belief that any future partner and I should both bring 100% to the table. I’ve met a lot of high quality men lately, so no complaints about that either. Hope to do more of that in the coming weeks and months.

That’s it in a nutshell. I’m a happy, well-adjusted Nicole. Looking forward to being better and brighter in 2011!

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Day 1 – A Mantra & A Notebook

Today is the first day of 2011 and it’s also day one of the 31 Day Reset. The first exercise is to choose a reset notebook and a mantra. The first part was easy.

In the past few months I’ve really been embracing my divine feminine and connecting more with myself as goddess. I’ve done quite a bit of journaling and was in the market for a new book. A few weeks ago I discovered this:

I was drawn to it right away. It has earth tones, yet is multi-colored with warm reds coexisting peacefully amidst calming blues. The woman is surrounded by, and is in fact, nature. She looks at ease and totally free. She is goddess.

I connected with her energy and determined my thoughts would be at home between her pages.

I’ve had this journal for several weeks now and have only written in it twice. The first time was during the winter solstice/lunar eclipse. The second time was last night – to write out my new year’s goals.  It’s not an “empty” notebook, but it’s the perfect one. Part one – check!

The next thing was to find a mantra. Immediately I went to Emerson, whose essay, Self-Reliance, is full of gems. I thought about taking parts of various statements and creating an “ultimate” quote of sorts, but I didn’t exactly do that. In the end I decided to build from the passage that inspired this tweet:

When I am honest with myself, I realize the thing holding me back from that which I’d most like to do, is fear. There are many things about which I am timid, yet I do them anyway. Likewise, there are many things about which I am scared, but I muster up the courage to tackle them.

But there is one goal I have yet to reach, nor even strive toward. And when I am still, I hear the voice which whispers the truth of my desire, even as I silence it with my fear. And that, ladies and gentlemen, simply will no longer do.

In Self-Reliance, Emerson writes:

We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. It needs a divine man to exhibit anything divine.

Ignoring his use of the masculine (with respect to the reader and to God), this passage encapsulates the essence of my belief and my challenge. To live my purpose and mission is to honor the divine in me. To be afraid, to cower and even shun this work is, quite simply, to dishonor the divine. Although I’m one who is generally prone to gray interpretations, this is pretty black or white.

I’m doing the work or not. I’m living the life or not. I’m honoring my divinity or not. As I choose to honor my divinity and do my life’s work, I simultaneously honor all those I serve, which also includes God/Goddess/Nam-myoho-renge-kyo/the Law.

In an oft-quoted Buddhist text, Nichiren writes, “My wish is that all my disciples make a great vow” (WND-1, p. 1003). What is the vow of which he speaks? He wishes for all of his disciples to attain Buddhahood and to lead others to Buddhahood as well. This is also the original vow expressed by Shakyamuni in his highest teaching, the Lotus Sutra (Expedient Means, Chapter 2). Quite simply, the work and point of Nichiren Buddhism is to challenge your own weaknesses, manifest your best, brilliant self, and help others do the same.

My best self is hidden beneath my fear. And whatever it is I have to offer to the world remains covered until I am brave enough to break through. This does not serve humanity. This does not serve the Law. This does not serve me. To that end, my mantra is:

Goddess will not have her work made manifest by a coward. I am am fearless. I am divine. I am total victory. I am Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.